"Life ain't always beautiful...

...but it's a beautiful ride." So says Gary Allen. And I happen to agree with him. Today, anyway :)

It's been a long time, but I went running today. (I did about 3.5 miles - an average run - and it nearly killed me. Here's some advice - if you exercise regularly, and you should ;), don't stop for a couple of weeks. It's amazing how quickly you lose everything you've gained) While I ran, I listened to my iPod - of course - and did some deep thinking about my life. Here are some of my thoughts:

- They say that God never gives us more than he can handle. Clearly God knows that battling depression and being fat and single are all that I can handle. (He's right, by the way - those things have broken me more than once) Because he has given me so many good things - an amazing family, a career that I enjoy, and more good friends than any one person deserves. Building 429 has a song where they say "I believe always, always our Savior never fails" that I was listening to while I ran. And I believe that, too. Here's the thing about me - I make a lot of bad choices. And I tell God about them. But so often I don't want to ask him to help me stop. I'm perfectly happy making bad choices. So I just tell him - "Hey, God. Here's what I'm doing. And I'm happy about it. So deal with it." It's probably not the best thing to do, but I figure at least I'm talking to him. Not keeping him out of my life. And I figure he is big enough to deal with it.

- I asked my doctor to put me back on Lexapro, an antidepressant. He gave me 4 weeks worth of samples, and I just started the 4th week. I think it's really helping. I think I need to go to counseling as well, and I'm working on getting there.

- Yesterday was the one year anniversary of my surgery. Hard to believe. I can't even begin to list the ways that my life is different than it was last year (although I probably will soon), or to adequately express my appreciation for the support from everyone in my life. I have never had one person say something negative or unsupportive to me. Not one. That is a truly amazing gift. I celebrated by doing something I couldn't have done a year ago - going to King's Dominion and riding roller coasters. I also went to support group, went over to the Masinick's for dinner and cards with the Palmers, then went to karaoke with the WEPC crew, followed by a late-night meal at Waffle House. Altogether a completely amazing day.

- As I told them at support group last night, it's been an up and down year for me with 9 months of hard work and 3 months of complete failure. I'm still working on not grazing and getting my eating back under control. Slowly, slowly, one day at a time....

My family took an awesome trip to Orlando last week to visit my brother and got to go to Sea World and Aquatica (Sea World's water park) while we were there. I love them! Here are some pictures:

The whole family!

We helped William move. Abby cleaned and Brian moved boxes...


Sea World!

Shamu

Abby LOVED the dolphins


Bruce thought it would be funny if I pretended to be too short to ride the roller coaster

The two cutest kids at Sea World eating lunch

Sisters posing with Shamu :)

Abby had fun at Aquatica, too!


Back at the hotel, Abby wanted to go swimming every day



The luckiest and happiest aunt and uncle in the world!

The Nash siblings!

Sweet baby Brian!

So Brian had his surgery yesterday - the day before he turned 8 months old, he had open heart surgery to repair a VSD, or hole in his heart. It's been a stressful week, with another stressful week of him in the hospital ahead of us, but God has been soooo good and he is doing really really well! For pictures and updates, you can check my sister's blog.

I'm headed down to Charleston tomorrow to spend next week there - being with Brian and staying with Abby. Although I'm not looking forward to seeing that precious child in the hospital, I am looking forward to the time with my family. And I'll be glad to be there - it made more sense for my mom to take this week and me to take next week to be down there, but it was very hard for me to not be there the day of the actual surgery. We expect him to come home mid-week next week and be back to normal as soon as he is released!

My sweet babies!

I spent my Spring Break ....guess. I bet you can't. In Charleston! My babies are beyond cute, just so you know. Here are some pics from my trip:













I had a great time. Abby is just talking all the time. You never know what's going to come out of that child's mouth. My sister said the other day, while she thought Abby had been playing quietly, Abby walked over and informed her that she was a "beautiful angel" and that she "drank Mommy's Diet Coke very carefully". She had Diet Coke all down her front at this point :) While I was down there, I was on the computer (frequently - I'm a facebook addict) and she climbed up in my lap and said "I want to look at Facebook" Um, I may spend too much time there. Another time I was on the computer and she said "I'm a big girl" I didn't respond, so she said "I said, I'm a big girl, Sarah!" Oops. Sorry, Abs. Yes, you are, in fact, a big girl. :) My mom was playing trains with her in Lynchburg and she got up to get something so Abby said "Bebe, please sit down". That girl knows what she wants!

Brian got his third haircut this week. That child has UNBELIEVABLE hair. He is scheduled to have surgery to repair the hole in his sweet little heart next Thursday, May 7, so that's something I've been praying about frequently. The week after that, while he's still in the hospital, I took the whole week off to go down there to be with him and help with Abby. My mom is going down the week of surgery. He and Abby are so cute together - they love each other so much!

Yes, I realize that these are not my children. Still. I love them so much!

Abby's Birthday and Brian's baptism

I had a great long weekend in Charleston! Tons of family came in to celebrate Abby turning 2 and Brian getting baptized. They both just get so much bigger and sweeter every time I see them :)

Although Abby almost slept through it :), her party was a big success! There were balloons,

cake,

tattoos,

and lots of Thomas supplies!

Even Brian got in on the theme :)

The next day Brian was baptized at church.
He wore his dad's christening gown, which was really sweet.
During the sermon, Kay and Bruce got a "shout out". They were held up as an example to the whole congregation! After the service, the family posed for endless photos...

I love these kids!!!!!

10k

Ok, I'm officially signed up for the race.  Keep me in your prayers because I'm going to need them!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ABBY!!!!!! My favorite girl in the whole world turned 2 today.  I'm in Charleston now (I got here after she went to bed) so we can celebrate tomorrow.  With a Thomas party.  Then Sunday my favorite little boy is getting baptized.  Big weekend all around.

STAY WARM EVERYONE!!!!!!!!

No gallstones for me!

MY BFF JULIE HAD HER BABY ON FRIDAY!!!!!!

Lila was born at 7:23 am and weighed in.....um, I forgot. But she weighed in as something. 7 lb, ? oz maybe? Anyway, she's really, really cute. Julie was in the hospital 3 days and I went to see her 4 times :) They came home Monday so tomorrow night I'm taking them dinner and I can't wait to see that sweet baby at home away from all that hospital stuff! She's absolutely perfect and I LOVE that I live so close to her. Poor Julie is going to want to kick me out soon! I'm not going to post any pictures b/c I haven't asked Julie if it's ok. But I will if she says ok.

So, after a few days of phone tag with the surgeon's office, I found out today that my ultrasound was clear and I don't have gallstones. I didn't really think I did, but I feel better having ruled it out. There are, however, two downsides to this situation - 1. This pain isn't terribly frequent but I don't handle pain well and it HURTS. Now I don't know how to fix it. and 2. I had to get the ultrasound done at the hospital where I was considered an outpatient and my co-pay was $100!!! But, all in all, good news.

I know I haven't updated lately - smack my hand here - so here's what's going on with me:

- I have been a GRUMP RUMP this week. I felt icky on Monday, but I don't really know what's going on here. I have not been really pleasant to be around, so be glad you're not around me. I apologize if you are.

- I don't know if I've talked about this much, but I've had to seriously scale back my running because my knee has really been hurting (see previous point about me not handling pain well). I was up to running 3-4 miles at a time, but for the last month or two I've only been about to make it about 2 before it hurts so badly I can't run anymore. So mostly I've been doing other things - swimming, classes at the gym, the elliptical, etc. Several people have told me to go get good running shoes, so yesterday I took some of my Christmas money to Roadrunner and had them watch me run and evaluate me and help me pick out good shoes. The girl was really nice and I picked out some Nikes. So last night I went to the gym and ran on the treadmill. My knee didn't hurt nearly as bad when I ran, and I made it just over 3.5 miles :) (It took me about 45 minutes) Although, my knee did hurt quite a bit after I got home. I'll deal with that another time. But by the time I got off I had blisters on the inside arch of my foot and my toes were hurting and feeling cramped. At which point I realized I forgot to mention to the girl how enormously wide my feet are. So I took them back today and she watched me run some more and exchanged them for new ones. (She also suggested running socks which I, naturally, bought) My new ones are made by Saucony and they look like this:

They're a Progrid Omni 7 Moderate if any of you know what that means. I don't. I'll let you know how they do.

- This one is also about running. So it really could be a sub-bullet point of the last one. But I'm letting it stand on my own. Just a personal decision. I think I'm going to sign up to do the Monument Ave 10K here in Richmond at the end of March. This race is a huge deal around here, and I know lots of people who are doing it. They limit registration to 35,000 so I need to hurry ;) They have a training program through the local Y that I think I'll sign up for. How scary is that? Last year at this time I couldn't even run 6.2 yards, much less 6.2 miles! But I really want to do it. I'll be sure and keep you updated on my training. Quit holding your breath. It's like 2.5 months away and I don't think you can go that long without breathing.

- After I went shoe shopping yesterday, I went costume shopping. Some friends are having a come-dressed-as-a-movie-character birthday party in a few weeks, and I've been thinking about what to wear. So I went into a costume rental store just to try on a few things. It was SO MUCH FUN! It was like grown-up dress up. And, honestly, it was mostly fun because I could fit into the costumes ;) I would NEVER have even dreamed of trying that when I was heavier.

- Despite the fact that I bought some size 14 jeans tonight (a size I haven't seen since like middle school), I am feeling FAT FAT FAT FAT. Part of it is the fact that my stomach is shaped like a muffin top even when I'm not wearing pants, so I always have this nasty stomach roll to contend with. Part of it is some recent pictures. And part of it is just seeing the fat. It used to be that just be "normal sized" would make me happy. Now I think I'm going to need to be actually thin. Maybe this is part of my grumpy mood this week. Maybe I'm PMSing and have hormones flying all around. Maybe this is part of my "good enough is never good enough" mentality/issues. Maybe it's just part of the normal cycle following WLS. Maybe I need to seek therapy. Maybe this whole bullet was TMI for some of you. Sorry!

- On Friday, Abby turns 2!!!! And Brian is being baptized on Sunday. So everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) is going down for the weekend. I'm really excited - it will be fun. I'm also really excited that I'm staying a day longer than everyone else so I'll have some time with my sister. She reminded me that last year on this weekend the two of us went to Patriot's Point. (Since Kay planned so well and had Abby near MLK, Jr. day we fortunately always have a long weekend to go down and celebrate.) It was a good time, as you can see from these pics:



So I'm thinking that we need to make a "sister outing" a tradition for this weekend. I haven't mentioned this to Kay yet, but I'm sure she'll agree. Kay? Whaddayathink?

This is why I should post more often. I get so wordy when I don't....

Here's to lots of sleep and warmth for all of you! And me, too!

Christmas

My family is strange and weird...

At Grandma Nash's, we get to open poppers.
They have treats, riddles...and crowns!

Favorite Christmas presents...
The kitchen!

Thomas!

A piggy bank! "Change?!" "Bullet?"

Finger puppets!

The Taggie elephant - so popular, Kay and I both bought the same one!


Our favorite things to do...

slice bread


play trains

help BeBe put on makeup

write letters to Santa

Mario Kart!


My favorite part of Christmas!