3 month follow-up

Today, amazingly enough, I actually got to pull and work with my Title 1 kids!! Woo-Hoo! It's almost like I'm a real teacher :) Although, you definitely do not want to get me started on how frustrating it is to have to work with my group in the regular classroom. I can't focus on what we're doing - how can I expect the kids to? And forget little, unimportant things like hearing sounds in words. But anyway. All of my beginning of the year paperwork is due tomorrow so hopefully we're about to get into a somewhat normal schedule and I'm looking forward to that. Although it means me planning, which is not exactly a strength of mine. It's a weakness, in fact. :)

I also went for my 3 month follow-up appointment today. I had lost 17 pounds since my last appointment a month ago, bringing my total lost to 81 pounds. I, as usual, was frustrated with that but my dr. was pleased. He said that starting month 3 (which this past one was for me), bypass patients should lose 15-20 pounds a month. This is not fast enough to satisfy me! Of course, I think I'm starting to feel about losing weight the way that one of the Rockefellers did about money. Someone asked him once how much money was enough and he answered (quite cleverly, I thought), "Just a little bit more" So I need to watch that I don't drive myself crazy over this. I have a family reunion at the beginning of November though, and I really want to have lost 100 pounds by then. It's 6 weeks away so that's a fairly realistic goal, but I'm definitely going to have to work on it. Although to be honest with you, most of my family there probably won't even notice I've lost weight. A lot of them are 2nd cousins and such and at the last family reunion I was actually at my lowest weight with Weight Watchers, and I should be right around that weight again. Which means, yes, in the last 5 years I have gained and lost 100 pounds. How scary is that? (well, not quite yet but you see what I'm getting at)

So I took my food journal in to show my dr., even though I really didn't want to. I know that I haven't been making the best food choices and I'm frustrated with myself about it. I exercise, I get in my water, I take my supplements, I eat appropriate portions - I'm just not choosing the best foods. Which was my problem pre-op, too. He acknowledged that but was much nicer than I thought I had a right to expect. He focused a lot on the weight that I've lost and the things that are going well and said, "Well, you can't argue with the weight loss" Not that he let me slide on it - he talked about what I should be doing and tomorrow I see the nut and have to really face the music there. She's very nice, too. I don't know why it is that I have so much trouble with this. It seems so easy when we talk about it, but then I drag myself through another day and it's all I can do to get off the couch and eat anything at all. I know all the good things to do - cook ahead, plan meals, only keep healthy things in the house, even just forcing myself to cook something and it's never as big a deal as I make it out to be. I guess I'm just a crazy whack job. But I have come a long way. The choices I'm making now, while not great, are way better than what I was making last year at this time. So I just have to keep working at it. Like Dr. E. said today, I need to develop good habits now b/c in 5 years the surgery won't be helping me so much and it will be up to me to keep the weight off. I know I talk about this a lot - and at length.

Tonight I went and took a Zumba class at the gym! I did this once way back in the spring when I had to wear my heart monitor. I remember that I had such a hard time getting my heart rate down where it was supposed to be - the class kicked my butt. Tonight I definitely worked, but I didn't die! If you're not familiar with Zumba, then clearly you've been living under a rock. The Zumba craze kind of reminds me of the Tae-Bo craze 10 years ago. (I bought into that one, too - I had the tapes! Go Billy Blanks!) It's like a dance class with salsa, belly dancing, Latin moves, stuff like that. It's really loud and high energy and fun - and a lot of work. My class tonight had probably 50-75 people crammed into it. That's a lot of people to hide behind, and trust me - there will be someone there less coordinated than you. There was a man in his 50s in our class tonight! But you can't really be shy and do Zumba - and it would probably be better if you had some dance experience. Or some rhythm. So, if you were not me. But as much as I stress about it, no one is there to watch me. I know you find that hard to believe, but I've come to learn it's true. I'll probably go back. Anybody want to Zumba with me? (If you get the chance to take a class with Angela at American Family West End, I highly recommend her)

I couldn't find a video that really looked like what we did - imagine about 10x as many people, not as cute :), not doing it as well, but a lot louder and more excited. (the beginning is boring - skip it)

Good sermon

Good sermon today - the one I was looking for last week actually :) about waiting. How Jesus waits to answer us because he loves us. In fact, in today's text it said,
"Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So when He heard that he was sick, He then stayed two days longer in the place where He was."
which seems counter-intuitive to us, but then again - we're not God. But the quote that most stuck with me was one from a Scottish theologian (McCheyne?) that my pastor has been quoting a lot lately - I think he read a lot of his work on his recent sabbatical.

"For are we not immortal until our work is done?"

Think about it. I'm off to my first home group meeting - I'll let you know how it goes :)

Losing Hair

My hair is starting to fall out. I was expecting it and terrified of it. But, come to find out - it's not such a big deal. Really. I always heard about it as a side effect of WLS, but people never really seemed too upset about it and I couldn't figure it out. Because it seemed like a big deal to me. But, it's not like I'm going bald or anything. It will just thin out a little bit. Right now, it's not coming out in huge clumps but that may change. Then again, it may not. With all of the changes that I have to put up with as a post-op, this one is actually pretty easy to live with.

Today my Heels beat Miami!!!! In football!!!! And, in what will go down as one of their all-time most embarassing moments ever, UVA lost to Duke. In football. 31-3. Yes, the same Duke that was ranked #1 on the "Most Embarassing Football Programs Of All Time" list. When they play Puke is the only time that I will root for UVA. But here's the upside - even if it does mean Puke winning, it gives me something that I can really, really make fun of UVA for. This is more embarrassing than UNC losing to Weber St. in the opening round of the NCAA tournament during the unfortunate Matt Doherty era. Or that whole 8-20 thing that we don't speak about. Duke has also beaten JMU this year (with 3 wins, they have beaten their win totals from the last 3 seasons combined) (I made that up, but I think it might be true) which means that they have beaten both schools that I have degrees from. Not that I'm a UVA fan. Still.

By the way, if you have a blog that I don't know about, please tell me. Recently some of my friends have finally updated theirs and I was quite pleased :) I'm seriously racking my brain for something interesting to write about here and I'm coming up empty. So it's back to watching Hokies football for me.

Have a great weekend!

Drowning

No, that title has no deep meanings. Clearly you don't know me very well. It in fact references the fact that it's been raining all day today and is supposed to continue for about 2 more days. If I could just curl up inside and do nothing, I wouldn't mind so much. But this whole "work, responsibility, and being an adult" thing is getting in the way. But I do love listening to it. Here are some gratuitous rain pics for you:





Just a little FYI, my dad and I have co-founded a club. The "Our Life is Sadder and Harder Than Anyone Else's" club, based on the premise that Mom has been hanging out with the two cutest, sweetest babies in the world all week and we haven't.

Not much to report - all of my beginning of the year paperwork is due next week and I'm going a little crazy between trying to figure it all out and the drama that goes along with working with women. (Those of you who work with men or in mixed environments weigh in here - is there a lot of gossiping and "discussing" of others? Or is that because of the estrogen overload?) I swear, this month is dddrrrraaaaggggggiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnngggggggg by.

So it's not so much a kid quote, but I'm not used to kids who are old enough to have a sense of humor and I thought this was funny. I was helping in a 5th grade class the other day and I walked over to help a kid and he told me he was allergic to teachers. A minute later I walked by his desk and he gave this big fake sneeze. I couldn't help it - I laughed. These kids crack me up.

So this weekend is going to be very laid-back, but then I have about a whole month of busy weekends coming up. I'm looking forward to all of the fun stuff I'll be doing, but I'm definitely going to enjoy the opportunity to relax while I can now!

I've been trying to bore myself to sleep and I think it's working now. Nighty night!

Favorite kindergartener quotes

In the spirit of a "kid quote" feature, I thought I'd share two of my all-time favorite kindergarten quotes. Being a kindergarten teacher is fertile ground for funny kid's quotes. Unfortunately, I've forgotten most of them :( But I'll post them as they come back to me. Then they'll be here. Immortalized. Forever.

My kindergarteners were always quite distressed about my lack of a husband (you and me both, kid) and frequently suggested possible prospects. Unfortunately, their suggestions were usually limited to other students, my co-workers, or the student's fathers. But once one of them suggested that I marry my dad. While trying not to get creeped out by this, I gently explained that you can't marry your dad. His response:
"But my mom married my dad!"
I tried to explain that she did not, however, marry her own dad.

This one came out of the blue. We were standing in the lunch line and sweet Allie Sue says,
"You know, Ms. Nash, I just never trust a boy who wears a necklace"

Living in Bethany

I was excited about going to church today. Last time I went (two weeks ago - I was in Charleston last week) was my SS class cookout and I had such a good time getting to know people. So I knew that today I would have friends there and be able to chat with people. I got all dressed up in this cute dress I borrowed from my cute sister (black with big white dots - shades of Pretty Woman) and headed off.

Steve Shelby, our pastor, always writes a little letter at the front of the bulletin to help prepare us for the service. He has been preaching lately on the miracles of Jesus, and he is spending a few weeks on the raising of Lazarus from the dead (see John 11:1-43, although today's text was only verses 1-5) Here was today's letter:

Dear Friends,
Do you live in Bethany? What I mean by that is, do you live in a place of suffering and waiting? Have you sent word to Jesus and you are waiting for Him to show?

Does living in Bethany cause you to doubt the love of Jesus for you and others? Imagine the sadness and dismay of Mary and Martha as they waited for Jesus to come and watched their brother sicken and die.

Ultimately Jesus wins and His love is powerfully and gloriously demonstrated but not before there are a lot of tears in Bethany.

Warmly,
Steve

As I read that, I knew that the sermon was going to be directed at me today. Because that letter describes me. Sometimes it seems like I'm missing my life while waiting for it to start - waiting for the weight to come off, to meet a husband, to buy a house. And, yes, I feel sadness and dismay and it can make me doubt Jesus' love. But Lazarus' story has a happy ending. Not as soon as they hoped, but a happy ending nonetheless. So I was eager to hear this sermon about how we suffer through waiting, but ultimately receive a happy ending. I've waited 30 years! So I was sure that the point of today's sermon was to tell me that, in 1 year, 3 months, and 12 days, I will be skinny and living in a house with a wonderful husband.

Normally the sermon is not my favorite part of the service (AH! Sacrilege!) The singing is. I love praise and worship songs. At West End, we sing a lot of praise and worship songs throughout the service. It's one of the things I love about my church.

Here's how church actually went today:

• People did not come running up to me begging to be my friend. I know you find this hard to believe, but it's true. I did say hello to one or two people, but left pretty quickly after the service.

• The sermon was not about waiting. It was about suffering and how Jesus calls us to suffer. Lazarus' mission was to suffer and die. At no point did he say, "Jesus asks you to suffer but then he fixes it" It was just, "Jesus works through our suffering." Not exactly what I wanted to hear.

• I didn't know any of the songs today, and I didn't like them either. The one I did know they sang the verses at about 1/10th the appropriate speed and butchered the chorus. It was more painful than listening to 20 kindergarteners count to 100 one at a time.

Now we come to the point in the story where I tell you the valuable lesson that I learned in all of this. I'm not there yet. Here's what I know:

God's plans are not my plans.

Deep, huh? But that's all I've got. I'm still struggling with being ok with that. I want so badly to have a little sit-down with God and explain to him how much better it would be if I could live my life by my plan. I'm just so sure that I could convince him! It's something I've struggled with for a long, long time. I've prayed about it and read books about it and I can't seem to move on. So there it is. That's how Satan works on me. It's going to take a power stronger than me to overcome him. I love Frank Peretti's book This Present Darkness. If you haven't read it, it's about spiritual warfare in a very concrete way - that there are angels and demons all around us, and the angels protecting us get stronger with prayer. It's an image that I love and that inspires me to pray through my struggles.

I have a new favorite song that goes along with this - Empty Me by Chris Sligh (of American Idol fame). Check it out if you get a chance.

Great.

A kid at school asked me if I was pregnant today. Awesome.