A New Christmas Story

My mom teaches 2nd grade in Lynchburg at a school similar to mine. One of her students wrote this story and I had to share it with you:

God's Christmas

God married Mary but God died. Who could she have a baby with? She found one his name was Joseph. It was a long day. Mary was happy. Because her baby was coming! "Joseph" Mary cried!, "The baby"! Joseph Came and picked her and ran out the door! He run to a barn he help her. He waited and waited! And finally the baby was born. his name was Jesus The End

Late Night Deep Thoughts

Well, I'm finally officially on Christmas Break!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!! And I made it to Lynchburg with my sweet family. Yes, the babies are here :) (don't worry, I'll post pictures soon) So last night when I got up to rock a crying Abby at 4 a.m., I had this deep thought...

I'm always struck by how we are commanded to have "faith like a child". There are so many ways in which we are like children and God is like the adults in our lives. I could go on and on. Of course, the analogy will eventually break down - as will anything that compares me to God :) But as I'm holding Abby, I realize that I'm holding her and she's sleeping on my shoulder. She's not holding on at all. She's just laying there, totally trusting that I'm going to keep holding her. She's so sure of it, she's gone back to sleep. And you know what the best part is? She's right to trust me that much. I would die before I let anything hurt her.

I bet you already know where I'm going here. Do I trust God that much? Do I just rest in him, trusting that he's going to keep me safe? Because he will. He died for it.

Pet Peeves

Here are two pet peeves of mine that were realized today -

1. Why do grocery store baggers think that you don't need your cat food in a bag? I am totally with them on things that have handles - cat litter, milk, soda cans, whatever. But bags of cat food? How exactly am I supposed to carry that with my other bags? I feel this way about toilet paper, too. But the toilet paper is too big to fit in the bag so, while frustrating for me, I can understand. I ALWAYS rip the plastic around my toilet paper trying to get it into the house.
2. This year, I've decided that I'm enjoying classic Christmas hymns. Why do people always feel like they need to "mix it up"? There are some ridiculous versions out there. (Ok, sometimes I like them. But mostly - no.) Today in church, they decided to sing the first verse of "O Come All Ye Faithful" painfully slow and pause between each line. We had no way of knowing about these mysterious pauses, so we kept singing into the silence, which was awkward. People were giggling. Then, all of a sudden, they burst out the second verse into a ho-down! I'm not kidding - fiddles and all. I felt like I should be square dancing. To "O Come All Ye Faithful".

These do not compare to my biggest pet peeve - children calling adults by their title and first name, like "Ms. Sarah" - but bothered me today nonetheless :)

Today's sermon

Except for the whole strange-O-Come-All-Ye-Faithful incident, the church service today was so amazing. Pastor Shelby was preaching on King Herod killing all of the boys under 2 in Bethlehem to try and get rid of Jesus. (See Matthew 2:16-18 if you don't know this part of the story.) He was talking about how we have to believe that God can redeem even the worst, most evil things that happen to us for his glory. A lot of things struck me, but here's the quote that stayed with me -

"If the gospel can't redeem this (Herod killing the babies), then it is no gospel."

He said that when horrible things happen, to us or to someone else, we should cry with them, acknowledge that sin and evil exist, and then offer the hope of the gospel. Another quote I liked was

"People say that time heals all wounds. That is a lie. Time can't heal wounds, it can only dull them a little bit. Only God can heal."

I thought it was an incredibly powerful sermon, and I am not doing it justice here. If you would like to listen to, you can download it off of the church's website.

Then we sang FOUR songs! Singing is my favorite part of the service and it just seemed extra powerful today for whatever reason. We sang one of my favorites, In Christ Alone. Printing the words doesn't do the song justice. With the band and everyone singing loudly, it gave me chills.

I'm so happy I found WEPC! If you ever want to visit with me, I'd love to have you :)

Being Thankful

At church, we have a monthly prayer focus where we join with churches all around the area to pray for a specific area. For December, it's for those who are lonely and without family. I've been feeling really sad lately about being single. (A normal thing, but I definitely go through ups and downs with it. Last week, the leader at Kid's Club made a totally normal innocent comment that "As far as I know, no one in this room has ever been pregnant" and it completely, completely crushed me. Out of the blue and for no reason) But that prayer and lunch today have forced me to think about how blessed I truly am. I have an amazing family that supports me no matter what. I have great friends that I can totally count on. For goodness sake, I have 217 Facebook friends! ;) God knows how incredibly weak I am, so he has given me a great support system.

Although, if you know any single, Christian, 30-something guys feel free to send them my way... ;)

Last thing for today. I promise. My favorite sister and her family made it to Lynchburg today (although I won't get to see them until next weekend :( ) and Brian rolled over! Yay!!! I don't have a picture of it, but I do have a picture of Brian, so here you go:
(I know, look at all that hair! That's what everyone says. At 10 weeks old in this picture, he already needs a haircut. Doesn't it make him look like a little old man? Isn't he just SO SWEET?)


Toodles!

Magic Shoe Update

So it turns out that I didn't switch my black Danskos with my mom. They're not my sister's or my brother's girlfriend's either. I don't know who else I could have switched with. Maybe they are really magic....

Our school Christmas party was tonight and I had so much fun! The staff at Fair Oaks are so fantastic. They have been so welcoming and sweet to me and I feel very much a part of them already. Plus, they're just fun, fun people. I just feel really, really, really blessed to be working there with them. (You may have to remind me of this at some point when I'm frustrated with my job. If only my job could be just hanging out with the staff.... Anyone know of a job like that?)

I don't know if you realize this or not, but I'm typing this at 12:40 am. That's two Fridays in a row I've been up past midnight. Maybe I am turning into a party animal in my old age.... probably not, though ;)

I learned an important lesson tonight - don't hate the player, hate the game. I used to get confused about which one I was supposed to hate. No more, my friends. No more. Thanks, Johnny.

Magic Healing Shoes

(No, this is NOT going to be like that sappy shoe song that gets overplayed at Christmas. I don't do sappy. That song, much like the song "Don't Laugh at Me" and the book The Kissing Hand, makes me want to hurt someone. Namely, the person who is inflicting them on me)

I have three pairs of Dansko clogs (2 pairs were Christmas gifts from a child in Charlottesville - you know I don't pay that much for shoes on my own) - black, brown, and shiny Carolina blue! If you've ever met me or my cats, you know that I have some very destructive pets. One of the things that they have destroyed is the insole of my black Danskos. They have torn them up scratching or biting or whatever it is they do when I'm not here. It doesn't bother me so much - after a minute or so, you can't even feel it so I keep on wearing them anyway.

I realized tonight that the insoles of my black Danskos are in perfect shape. No rips or tears. Nothing. I can't say how long they've been this way - we learned in the last post how unobservant I am. I have three theories:

#1 - My favorite and the one I choose to believe - My shoes are magic and have healed themselves. It is Christmas, after all!

#2 - Some friend or family member noticed their decrepit state, took them out, had them re-soled, and returned them without me noticing.

#3 - I mixed mine up with my mom's black Danskos last time I was home.

Which theory do you choose to believe? I think this issue is going to be sweeping the nation soon!

P.S. - I keep finding new blogs! Check out this post or this one from Bryan Allain and this one from Trey Morgan. You may find you want to stay awhile!

Sleep well my friends!

The Great Cat Search.

Ok, I'm going to go ahead and tell you this upfront. You already know this if you know me well, but - I'm the world's worst pet owner. Seriously. I have two cats and am desperate to give them away to someone who will let them be outdoor cats. If you know someone, let me know.

Today I realized that I hadn't seen my fat girl cat, Christine, for a while. Like a day or two at least. So I looked all over my apartment for her (this took about 3.25 minutes in my giant abode) and she was nowhere to be found. I immediately felt really guilty because she must have run out the door one time when I left and I didn't notice! And it has been REALLY cold - it snowed last night. So, although I wasn't sad in a "I'll-miss-this-cat" kind of way, I was really upset in a "I'm-an-awful-person-she's-freezing-or-dead-and-I-didn't-even-notice" kind of way. Keep in mind here, I have two cats so one of them is always pestering me. I just don't always pay attention to which one it is. Cats are independent. They like to be left alone. I'm trying to help them out.

So I decided, without much optimism, that I had to go at least try and look for her. Did I mention that it's COLD here?!?! So I found her after 10-15 minutes, chillin' on the railing of the apartment building next door. (Yes, it took me 15 minutes to get next door. I went the other way first) She was in front of an apartment - I don't know if they had fed her or petted her, or if she just picked that spot. Anyway, I went and got her. She did try to get away from me a little bit, which I did not think was an appropriate way to treat the woman who has taken care of her for 3 years and has now rescued her from the cold, but I brought her home. Now we get to the other bad part...

I'm not totally sure I got the right cat. I mean, it looks just like my cat - dark gray tiger stripes, fat, no collar. What are the chances that a cat that looks EXACTLY like mine would be chillin' at the building next to mine when Christine was lost? Very slim, I'm sure. She does seem fatter than before, but I don't really know about that. (Although it could be that she's been gone longer than I realized and I've just gotten used to looking at the skinnier one) But Raoul (my other cat) is hissing at her and stuff. Usually they are total BFF. They came from the same litter - they've been together all their lives! And she was sniffing the ground. That seems like something a cat who had never been here before would do, but then again - it could be something she does regularly. As I've said, I'm not exactly the most attentive cat parent. AND she sat on the ground in front her favorite chair instead of jumping up in it.

Am I overreacting here? Tell me I'm overreacting. This is my cat, right? Here. I'll post an old picture of Christine and one that I took just now and you can let me know.

Christine a month or two ago

Christine today

Ok, this was good. I compared the markings in the two pictures so now I'm sure it's the same cat. Although she does look thinner in the now picture. I guess I just didn't pay attention to how fat she was getting. Maybe that's how I got so fat, too... I wonder why Raoul is hissing at her? (Yes, my cats are named after characters in The Phantom of the Opera. That's because I'm cool like that.)

It's a good thing Christine got in the way when I tried to take that picture of all my too-big clothes a while back. If Raoul got out, I don't think I'd have any pictures to compare to.

Know anyone who wants some cats?

What 100 pounds feels like - Sarah style

**Author's Note ;) - I've been working on composing this post for a while now. I went back tonight to edit it down to a manageable, readable length. But then I decided not to. Because I want to be able to go back and re-read it and remember how I felt. So, it's awfully wordy - 10 words where 1 will do kind of thing. But that's just me! So feel free to skim/skip at your leisure, as always**

Well, I posted my before and post-100 pound pictures. So I thought I would also post about what losing 100 pounds feels like. I’m always a little leery about posting things like this – things that make it sound like I’ve met my goal. It’s easy to forget that I still have 50 pounds to go. But I want to remember how I felt along the way. And try to enjoy how far I’ve come, because I get very frustrated very easily. So, because I can, here is...

How it feels to lose a 5th grader...
- HARD WORK. It’s cliche, especially in the WLS world, but in no way was this surgery “easy way out”. I don’t know if that’s still the perception among people who don’t know much about it or not.
o There are about 13,782 rules governing all my meals - what to eat, when to eat, how to eat, how much to eat. I can’t ever just not think about it. There is no cheating when I’m frustrated. I can get sick at any time – sometimes I know what caused it, sometimes I don’t. I miss food, and I miss it being easy. Imagine being on an extremely restrictive diet and knowing that you have to do it every meal, every day for the rest of your life.
o I have to exercise. Have to, have to, have to. And it’s a lot of work. I try really hard to push myself. Both to burn those extra calories and to build the muscle that will burn more calories at rest and help me avoid the excess skin.
o I have to be vigilant about vitamins and supplements. At least 5 pills a day, each one 2 hours apart from all of the others.
o Although, just to confuse you (and me) a little bit, and to bring out my multiple personalities it’s also...

- NOT AS BAD AS IT SEEMS. Yes, it’s a lot of work. But people see me eating such a little bit, or not being able to eat things, and are always talking about how bad they feel for me. And really, once I get past the head hunger thing, I don’t really miss it. My little tiny bit of food really is enough for me. I eat it slowly – it often takes me longer than it takes other people to eat their regular size meals – and it feels like a real meal to me. Someone asked me today about cravings and I’ve found that they’re getting less and less. Because when I crave something and eat it, a lot of times it doesn’t taste very good. After a few times of that, it gets easier not to eat it. I know it sounds like I’m contradicting myself. It’s hard to explain. Roll with me here :)

- RUNNING. I talk about this a lot, so I won’t expand on it too much here. But the difference in what I’m able to do when I exercise is amazing. I can run! I can do an entire aerobics class (remember way back when Zumba kicked my butt?). In fact, the other day I did a Zumba class followed by a Body Pump class. And smaller things – I don’t get winded walking up stairs. You can’t imagine how much time I spent when I was bigger trying to hide the fact that I couldn’t breathe after walking just a few stairs.

- SITTING. I’m not as scared to sit in chairs anymore. I had a constant nagging fear of breaking chairs before. Also of spilling over into people’s chairs next to me at church. (Ok, this is still somewhat of a fear) I’m sitting here right now on my sofa cross legged. Earlier I had my knees up in front of me. I can cross my legs. It’s not super easy, but I do it pretty much every time I sit down. As early as this summer, when I was only like 50 pounds down, I rode on an airplane and didn’t need a seatbelt extender. I feel now like I’m almost to the point where I won’t be embarrassed for people who have to sit next to me on planes or buses.

- BAGGY CLOTHES. I have to tell you – I’m getting a little tired of wearing clothes that are too big. Which is strange, because I’ve always worn my clothes fairly big. I can buy clothes that are too small because I know I’ll fit into them soon. It’s amazing how quickly my clothes get to be too big, while at the same time I feel like I haven’t lost enough sizes. (I know, another crazy contradiction from the crazy head of Sarah) Which leads me to...

- FRUSTRATING. It’s hard for me to know what kind of realistic goals to set. Good enough is never good enough for me. I never feel like I’m losing quickly enough, or I’m doing well enough. I get frustrated about the clothes thing frequently – they’re too big, they’re too small, I don’t have enough.... (see the “hard work” point for other frustrations)

- ON DISPLAY. It feels like people are watching me constantly. They’re not obviously – or if they are it’s out of curiosity, not judgement. I can’t blame them because I do the same thing. But still, whether it’s what I’m eating or how I look, I often feel like a sideshow act :) Of course, I bring a lot of that on myself – I talk about my surgery a lot, and I blog my every action and thought. And I don’t mind answering questions or sharing my experiences at all.

- CONFIDENTER. So confident, in fact, that I dare to use the word confidenter instead of more confident.

- COLD. I’m cold. All the time. Very, very cold. Yes, part of it is losing my 100-pound coat. But part of it is my body adjusting to all the changes.

I’m sure there’s other stuff, too. But that’s quite enough for now, don’t you think?

Just so you know -

It is now 1:15 AM and I am awake. See? I am a party animal!!

I had a great time at the Park Ave. party tonight. We will not discuss the two hours it took me to get there driving all over creation and back. No, no. That only makes me feel idiotic and dumb. We will only discuss how it was after midnight when I left. That, my friend, is because I am young and cool and can do these sorts of things. A couple of times a year.

I wouldn't count on me making it to 1:30, though....

A challenge and some wows :)

I think I've mentioned before that one of my favorite bloggers is Jon over at Stuff Christians Like. I read it religiously every day (yes, pun intended there. haha) To get a sense of why I love it so much, check out his post on people borrowing his pen in church. But occasionally he posts on more serious topics and today he posted about God being enough. This is such a challenge for me. Sure, God would be enough for me if I had a husband, a couple of kids, and a house. And I was thin and had my life together. But is he enough for me, single and living in this little apartment? Obviously, the answer is yes and more. He's more than enough. The question is really if I can see that and have peace with it. It's something I struggle with every day. Every day. I keep praying that the truth of God's enoughness will move from my head to my heart. (yep, enoughness is a real word. I am a master of reading. If I say it's a word, it is)

Today I "ran" 4 miles. There were a few very brief periods where I let myself walk a few feet - I've been sick lately so I cut myself a little slack :) - but I realized that I have moved from walking with periods of jogging to jogging with periods of running. It amazes me every time. I know I post and talk about how far I'm "running" often. That's because I can't get over what an amazing change it is. Literally I feel myself itching to go "running" sometimes. Which is strange, because I'm not very good at it :) And I'm nowhere near a real runner. But compared to 6 months ago when I could only run a few steps? Exciting stuff.

I have started my Christmas shopping, and yesterday I went to this children's store to buy some presents for my favorite babies. I haven't signed the back of my credit card (don't get me started) so she asked for ID. I gave her my license and she really didn't believe that my picture was me. I was truly afraid that she wasn't going to take my card. I explained about the weight loss. (I did not explain about the fact that I'd been sick so I looked gross, my hair was straggly, and I was wearing my glasses) I don't think she believed me, but she took it.

Oh, what's that you say? You forgot who my favorite babies are that I was buying presents for? Well, that is awfully important to this story. Let me show you a picture.

I know. They rock. So do you, dear blog readers. So do you.

My favorite kids in the world - it's impossible not to love them.