FInding clothes that fit.

*UGH*

Here are some clothing fit issues I'm having - I knew y'all wanted to hear about them:

** You know how there are some people that look like a caricature of a person. Like from the chest up and the thighs down they are of normal size but then they have an enormous stomach and butt? No? You don't know those people? Come visit me, my friend, and you will... I can tell that I've lost some weight in my boobs and face. Mostly the boobs. (I don't know about my legs, b/c I don't have a full length mirror. Because I'm super together and organized), but my stomach and butt are still enormous. It's NOT a good look.

** I don't know what size underwear to buy. In the past, this has been my underwear-buying philosophy: Go to Wal Mart. Find the multi-pack bags of underwear. Find the cheapest one. Buy the biggest size they have. Now I can still wear my underwear, but it's getting kind of baggy and I don't have any idea how to figure out what size to buy next.

** I put one some Goodwill jeans today (I have like 4 pairs of those) and they fit me perfectly - except for the left calf. I'm serious. Everywhere is perfect, but the left calf is tight. Only the left one.

** I would like to say hello to..... my neck! I just saw it in the mirror. Who knew I had one under all those chins?

Gratuitous pictures of my faves:

"Hmmmm...Bullet told me these things tasted like strawberries....wonder what kind of strawberries HE'S been eating?"

"Aunt Sarah thought if she took my Binky away she could get a cuter picture of me in my manly outfit. I'll show her!"

Ouch!

So right now I’m at school. I can’t actually post this because blogspot is one of the millions upon trillions of fun sites that are blocked by my lovely employer, Henrico Co. Let me tell you how much I love that. None.

Last night I got on here to write my Last Will and Testament, but decided I was too tired so you guys could just fight over my stuff. Luckily for y’all, I was able to get out of bed this morning after all. I took Body Pump for the third time last night. I’ve been trying to figure out how much weight I should use – and I think I overdid it a bit. A bit. By the end, every muscle in my body was trembling uncontrollably. But I just kept thinking to myself – “No sagging skin! I will not have saggy skin!” so this better work. Surprisingly enough, I was able to get up this morning relatively pain-free. I’ve been a little sore, but nothing like when I first worked out with Sgt. Bryan and could hardly move!

So here’s a tidbit about me – I’M COLD!!!!! No matter where I am when you’re reading this, I’m probably cold. Ever since the weather started to get colder, I cannot warm up. I’ve read about other people with this surgery and I think it’s not so much the loss of weight as it is my body reacting to all the crazy changes and spewing hormones everywhere. I hear the first winter is really cold, but it gets better. Here’s to hoping!

Back from a happy weekend :)

I haven't posted for a few days because I've been off hanging with some of my favorite people in the world - my parents, my sister, and these cuties:


If you haven't checked out my sister's blog yet, you should. Because she's awesome.

I never remember to bring a book home to Lynchburg so I always end up picking up some book I've read before to re-read. I always have to have a book to read when I go to bed - I don't when I'm at home, but when I'm at my parent's I do. I know, it's odd. But so am I. So this weekend I picked up Frank Peretti's This Present Darkness. I have read that book so many times and it gives me chills every time. I'm usually not into science-fictiony kind of things, but I LOVE this book. It always makes me feel like I should be praying all the time. It's one of those books that's stuck with me over time, and it comes to mind often to remind me to "pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians 5:17).

Still working on this going to bed early thing...not happening so much tonight.

OH! Thanks to Beth and Laura for letting me know what was wrong with my laundry. I feel better knowing that other people have had it happen. A little dumber for not being able to figure it out on my own ;), but hey - I'll know what to do next time, right?

30 3/4

Today is my birthday. I'm turning 30 & 3/4. What's that you say? You don't celebrate that? I celebrate my birthday on the 23rd of every month. Unfortunately, the rest of the world hasn't caught on so it continues to be a private little celebration in my head.

30 & 3/4 is a scary, scary number....really close to 31......

Sometimes my laundry comes out of the washing machine literally dripping wet. (Load #5 of the 7 came out that way today) (The 7 loads are that pile of clothes I'm getting rid of. Come on, I'm bad but not THAT bad) Anyone know what causes this?

You know, some people just really get on my nerves.

I'm super tired so I'm going to sleep now - Night!







(you're wondering if you're the one who irritated me today, aren't you? HA)

Don't say I never gave you anything...

That's me inside the Clifford suit. Totally exciting, huh?

Fall Cleaning!

I spent yesterday cleaning out my closet. Here are all my "fat clothes" that are too big for me and have to be gotten rid of:

(and that's my fat cat Christine. She's wondering what she's going to wear when all the fat clothes are gone. Don't worry yet, cat. There are still many fat clothes to come) (Don't let her innocent look fool you) (Does anyone want to adopt her? And her brother? They're great cats. Really.)

Also, here's a picture of me in my favorite outfit from last winter, when I was so big I was just trying to hide in my clothes:

I know, my hair - and the expression on my face - is super attractive here but look past that, ok? Looking at the picture the clothes don't look that big, but trust me. They're really too big. I tried to take one of those holding-out-the-fat-pants-to-show-how-much-bigger-you-used-to-be pictures, and I can hold them out a lot - they really don't stay up by themselves - but I'm still too fat to post it on the internet. Someday!

On Friday, I was working with some of my kids when some men in suits wandered by in the hall. One of my most quotable kids asked me what they were doing and I told her I didn't know. She said, "They must be going to church after this!"

Clifford!

In the WLS community, people often refer to "wow moments" - when you realize how your weight loss has affected your life. I tend to think it's cheesy, naturally b/c I'm cynical like that, but I had one yesterday.

For our Book Fair/Community Day pep rally, our librarian asked me to wear the Clifford costume. For most of you out there who have always fit into the one-size-fits-all-category, this probably doesn't even seem like a big deal. But I've always had this secret fear of someone not realizing that I was fat (um, how does that happen exactly?), asking me to do it, and me not being able to fit in it. Because I wouldn't. So when she asked me I was shocked that she considered me normal-enough sized to be able to do it. That was exciting moment #1. #2 came when it actually fit. And #3 came when the kids couldn't guess who I was - I guess all the fat didn't show through as much as I thought it would. I had a great time being Clifford, by the way :)

The joys of teaching elementary school...

Today I went to school looking like this:


Yeah. It was Wacky Hair Wednesday! I love Spirit Week. I totally forgot Mismatch Monday, even though I had an awesome outfit. But yesterday was team Tuesday and I did it right - unfortunately, I don't have any UNC pants so I wore some white cropped pants (thanks, K-K!) with UNC socks and shiny Carolina blue clogs, which is a nice look. I also had on a UNC t-shirt, jacket, earrings, hair ribbon, and hair clips. Oh, and my lanyard that I carry my ID and key on is UNC. And I carried a UNC mug. It rocked. Tomorrow is Thinking Cap Thursday (hat day - not so exciting, but I'll bust out a UNC hat), and then is Flannel Friday - pajama day.

This afternoon as I'm walking down the hall I see one of my third graders swinging her arms wildly back and forth above her head. I asked her why she was swinging her arms and she answered:

"I don't got no underwear"

Hmmmm. I decided it was best to leave that one alone.

This afternoon I went for a "run", not realizing that it is HOT AS ANYTHING out there. I mean, really hot. I got so hot I got chills. I literally had goosebumps all up and down my arms. But I did 4 miles. Which is 5 laps around my trail. The first 4 laps I did more "running" than walking - a good bit more, actually - but the last lap I just walked. I considered it my cool down lap. It took me about 50-55 minutes. Something miraculous has happened since I've started working out more - the trail has gotten shorter. I'm pretty sure it has. It used to be all I could do to do 2 laps - and it took me my full 40 minute workout. So the trail must be getting shorter!

Ok, I'm taking a survey here. This is something that I've been thinking about a lot lately. I know, it's whacked out and strange but these are the things that go through my head. And this is my blog, where I write things that go through my head. I'm down about 90 pounds right now (since March when I started boot camp), which means naturally I'm thinking about hitting that 100-pound loss mark. My goal is to hit it before my family reunion Nov. 7. Of course, I've been stuck at the same weight for almost a week now, so I may never get there and this may be a moo point. (you know - a moo point. It's like a cow's opinion. It doesn't matter.) (Thanks, Joey!) Back to my question - when I hit 100 pounds lost, do I post that information in my Facebook status? Because it's exciting. But do I want to admit that I had 100 pounds to lose - and I'm still fat? Of course, people knew because - well, they could see me. Still. I know, this is one of those major dilemmas that world leaders lose sleep over.

I best go get in the shower b/c I smell BAD and I am going to teach Kid's Club at church tonight. Call me sometime!

Some thoughts from the head of me!

I love the re-usable grocery bag trend. They hold more and are easier to carry. (And, sure, I'm happy about the environmental goodness thing - whatever. Even though my mom was one of the first people to warn us about global warming and the loss of rainforests. Just ask her)

Actually, my friend Beth gave away pretty red bags as favors at her wedding last weekend. She was a BEAUTIFUL bride with a beautiful wedding. And, to make it all about me - I didn't even feel jealous at this one. Usually weddings are hard for me because of my lack of even the hope of one. Let's be honest - just being around married people is always hard for me. So I push past it and look hard for my happiness for them. And I find it and have a good time enjoying being with them. But this weekend I was just happy for Beth and enjoying being there with good friends to celebrate.

the happy couple

the cake

me and my BFF Julie

The Game Club crew! (see how cute pregnant Julie is?)

I met with my nut, Pam, again today. She was pleased with how I've been doing and even said that she thought she was too hard on me last time. (She wasn't, by the way - I needed to hear it. I honestly had thought I was doing ok but I wasn't) She gave me a lot of new helpful suggestions. *note here - none of these suggestions were for foods that I hate followed by "just try it". This was my old nut's way. This is why I no longer see her* She's very sweet and non-judgemental, which makes it easier for me to be as honest with her as I can, which makes it easier for her to help me. So it's good all around. I told her today that I worried that I never hear from anyone else who is not completely in love with their WLS. I tend to be pretty honest about admitting my doubts and frustrations about my surgery. And she told me that there are other people who feel that way, they just don't go to support groups and follow up appointments like I do. So that made me feel good. I'm going to keep fighting for this!

I'm still so tired it's almost dangerous for me to drive, but I went to bed earlier last night and I'm headed that way tonight as well. I need to give this "getting enough sleep" thing a legitimate shot. ;)

Today as he was leaving, one of my third graders had a ratty piece of notebook paper taped around his arm. I asked him (jokingly) if he broke his arm. He said, "Nah, I'm the QB in football at daycare" I cracked up. There were things written on the paper. I didn't look closely, but I'm assuming they were football plays. (For those of you not in the know - football quarterbacks often wear a playbook on their arm for calling plays)

I'll leave you tonight with a thought from Sunday's sermon. Steve's series on Jesus raising Lazarus is still going on, and this week was on Martha running to meet him. His focus was on how Mary was mixed-up and wrong in a lot of her thinking, but she took her disappointments straight to Christ and that was the right response. He said that we should do the same thing, too - we don't have to get ourselves straight before going to Jesus. We can go to him as messed up as we are. In the passage, Martha is comforted yet Jesus has not yet raised Lazarus from the dead. Here's what Steve had to say about that:

"Jesus comforts not by relieving pain, but by revealing who he is"

A Busy Weekend

I had a great weekend this weekend, keeping pretty busy. Friday night I went to a high school football game with some girls with my church, which was really fun. It was a perfect night for a football game! I spent Saturday in Harrisonburg at my friend Beth's wedding, which was gorgeous and perfect. Then we went to the Book Fair on the way home, and I got lots of awesome books! (I will skip over the part of Sat. where we went out to dinner - that was not something that needs to be relived) Sunday I went to church, then met up at the Purdy's (one of the pastors at West End - the one who leads the Young Adult class) for a post-retreat lunch/debrief/get-together. I crashed on the sofa for a while, then went out to my small group. I actually learned a lot and will post some of that at some point. Oh, and then upon leaving - I drove my car into the ditch at the end of the driveway and had to call a 12-year old tow truck driver to come get me out. Oh, well. No harm, no foul right? In truth, there's a lot to say about the whole weekend but it could get pretty long and tedious ;)

A big part of me feels like I'm just moving to Richmond - in a new job, finally getting actually involved in church, etc. I'm meeting a lot of new people and I'm really excited about that.

I've been doing much better these past 2 weeks with my food choices and I hope when I go back to see Pam (my nutritionist) tomorrow that she'll be pleased. I know the weight has been coming off faster, although the last few days it's slowed down again some. I'm working on being ok with that :)

My big complaint at the moment is that I'm SOOOO tired. All the time. I just can't seem to shake it. I feel asleep at my desk on Wednesday and I feel like I crash every chance I get. I don't know if I'm a little sick, if I'm not getting enough sleep, or if I'm missing some vitamin or something that I need. I don't want to jump to conclusions or be paranoid about it, but I'm tempted to call Dr. Elliot and ask him to go ahead and do my bloodwork just to check. He said he would do it at 6 months, which would be January. Maybe this week I'll just focus on getting to bed early and see if that helps.

Let me mention, also, how irritated I am that the temps are supposed to get up into the 80s this week. Fall was supposed to be here,people!

Ok, I need to get off to school. Toodles!

In case you wondered...

I keep meaning to post this. WLS stands for "Weight Loss Surgery", just in case you didn't know. I refer to anything to do with my surgery that way b/c it's quicker.

Shopping!

So a good friend is getting married this weekend (and let me add how THRILLED I am for her!!!!!!!!!!!!) and I decided that this was my chance to actually get some new clothes. As I'm losing the weight, I'm trying not to shop too much because (theoretically, at least) I'm losing so quickly that I can't wear the clothes for very long. I need new clothes, of course, so I've been shopping places like Goodwill, Wal-Mart, and my sister's closet.

So my BFF and I hit the mall on Wed. in search of the perfect cute new dress. She, naturally, found 3. She's pregnant and it was so much fun shopping for cute little maternity dresses with her! I can't wait to meet the baby, of course (due on my birthday, as all cool kids are) but for now it's fun watching her be pregnant. Anyway. I didn't have much luck. For one thing, it's hard to know what size to get. Obviously, I just have to keep trying things on and different dresses the sizes run differently but still it's confusing. It's a totally new experience for me, though, to be able to say "This is too big. I need a smaller one." I've always worn whatever the biggest size was. Seriously. One time I was in a friend's wedding and just told her to order the biggest size bridesmaid's dress they had. I think this freaked her out, but I was right. It fit.

Ok, too many tangents tonight.

I'm going to cut this story short and tell you that, after much work and heartache, I have found a new dress! This is more exciting to me than it probably is to the average person. For one thing, it was super on sale at Dillard's and I got it for $16! (The only other one that I had found was $90 and I just couldn't go there) Another thing....it's a size 16. Seriously. Let me put this in perspective for you - before surgery, I was a tight 24. When I bought the dress today, the pants I was wearing were a 22. I'll admit they're a little big. But I was thinking I was just barely into a 20. Now, let's be fair. I won't fit into a 16 in pretty much anything else. This dress just happened to run big or something. Still it's exciting to me. (Normally I do not discuss my clothing size. Ever. But I got over it because it's an exciting part of documenting this process for me.) Here's a fuzzy-because-I-used-the-self-timer-and-I'm-having-issues-with-that picture of the dress:

Oh, and here's a kid quote for you from Kid's Club at church this week:
We were discussing standing up for people and one kid was telling us how if a man pointed a gun at his friend he would stand up to him (not to worry - we steered away from this) and another boy chimed in and said,

"I would kick him in...in the bad place"
First kid, "Dude! You can't say that in church!"

Wish I had more exciting things to post, but the search for the dress has pretty much consumed my last few days. This weekend, after the wedding in Harrisonburg, we're going to hit the Green Valley Book Fair. If you've never been there, it's a must-go. And if you're going, it's a must-call-Sarah-and-invite-her situation.

Reasons I Love Fall

1. Jeans and a t-shirt, maybe a fleece at night
2. The leaves, of course
3. Fairs and festivals
4. Settling into a new school year
5. FOOTBALL!!!!!
6. Basketball is coming soon....
7. Anticipation of the holiday season
8. When it gets dark earlier, I feel like I'm staying up later and am therefore cooler
9. Sleeping with the windows open
10. Running in the cool late afternoons (ok, that was just today. And it wasn't technically "running" so much...)
11. I'm used to what year it is, so I usually write it correctly
12. New seasons of TV shows - excepting USA shows, which are the best ones, which have different types of seasons
13. Fall candles smell yummy
14. Busting out the striped socks and clogs
15. Have I mentioned jeans?
16. No more awkward "supposed-to-wear-a-bathing-suit" situations
17. Not having to rake leaves makes me grateful for another year of non-home-ownership
18. Pre-season basketball magazines come out
19. No longer expected to eat things like "fruit salad"
20. Thanksgiving
21. Ok, ok. Halloween, too
22. Julie's birthday when she finally catches up with the rest of us
23. Jeans
24. Starting to think about Christmas gifts
25. Hunting season means getting rid of a few of those pesky deer (sorry, Laura)
    
26. Snakes head back underground where they belong
27. Perfect weather
28. Changing clothes means a whole new wardrobe
29. Corn mazes
30. Wearing cuddly pajamas
31. Jeans

Feel free to add your own...

A Blog to Check Out

I stumbled upon this gem today:

Stuff Christians Like

and you need to check it out. Even if you're not into Christianity. This guy is awesomely hysterical. Of course, some of it may be funnier if you have a lot of church experience, but still. How many Christian bloggers do you know who routinely use the term metrosexual?

If I had aspirations of being a real blogger ( as opposed to a my-blog-is-a-journal-that-everyone-can-read blogger), this is just what I would want it to be like.

Great Beach Retreat

Wow - it's been almost a week since I've posted. Busy life, I guess :) Which is good in the sense that maybe I'm living a real life instead of an online one... Anyway.

This weekend I went to Corolla (in NC's Outer Banks) for a retreat with the Young Adults from my church. I've decided to process my thoughts about the weekend in a few categories, as follows, because I am just nerdy that way :):

Teaching - Matt Purdy is one of the pastors at West End and he leads the Young Adult group. He led 3 sessions this weekend on "The Enemy Within", talking about sin. The sessions were on knowing our sin, Jesus conquering our sin, and acting out the fact that Jesus has conquered it. I thought they were great sessions (not too long - Thanks, Matt! - since I don't sit well for extended periods of time) and very thought-provoking. Being at the beach on a church retreat tends to make you think deep thoughts. I walked on the beach by myself Sat. morning and found myself seeing lessons from God in everything. For instance - I was picking up shells to take back b/c some of my students asked for them. The best shells I found were at the top of the beach,yet I kept walking down in the water because that's where I wanted to be. Which is so like I am with God - he has good things for me in one place, but I insist on walking in my own place. Because he's so good, I can still find good things - but not the best that he has for me. This is a major theme of my life, one that I am constantly working on.

Friends/Fellowship - This is a really great group of people, around my age, and I really liked getting to know them better. They're fun and it was exciting to me to spend so much time hanging out with Christians where theology is discussed as readily and easily as our favorite sports teams (both got much attention this weekend). I often have a hard time feeling included - it's hard being a little bit of an outsider and trying to make new friends and I'm not very good at it. I tend to either go very quiet and retreat back or go overboard in being loud and crazy. There were a few times this weekend where I felt that keenly. But for the most part the group was very kind and gracious in including me and making me feel a part of things. (For the record, and this is another topic altogether, let me state that this is not entirely "the group"'s responsibility. I have a big part in this, which I struggle with and is a subject for another day) I stayed up until 2 a.m. both nights, which is very unlike me. But one night I stayed up b/c I was playing poker - and I won! Awesome. I did come home - and this seems a little sad - and friend request approximately a zillion people on Facebook from the weekend :)

WLS - related - I haven't posted about my meeting with Pam, the nutritionist, last Tuesday. But we're talking about changing a lot of things about the way I eat and I've been working pretty hard at it. I did pretty well this weekend. I took some things to eat/drink, but tried not to make a big deal out of it. I told some people about the surgery when it came up, but not everyone. I really don't mind talking about it, but I don't want people to feel like they have to listen to me go on about it, know what I mean? Sat. afternoon I did get sick and that was pretty miserable - especially since all of the bathrooms were occupied by people showering after an afternoon at the beach.

All in all, a great time. There is a lot more that I could say, but this post is already too long and I need to be in bed. Going back to school is going to be tough tomorrow! I forgot my camera, so I don't have any pictures, but I'm hoping that some of the other people who went will share theirs with me. Happy first week of October everyone!