So this has not been my best day. I did not exercise, so am now way behind, and will probably only get in 2 of my 4 exercises before I go back to see Brian next Tue. 3 if I'm really super dedicated and find time to work out on Sunday in addition to driving back from Charleston. I feel AWFUL about this. I just started and I'm already failing.... I've also eaten horribly today and have to record it all on my food log to take to the nutritionist Mon. night.
So I left for work at 7 this morning, taught all day, spent the time I was supposed to be in pre-school IEP meeting looking for the people who would tell me that it was cancelled, did my team's copying for the week, drove all the way to the other side of town for a "New Teacher Focus Group" until 6, got stuck in traffic for an hour on the interstate on the way back, went shopping for my sister's birthday present, went to the grocery store and got a piece of pizza for dinner - ate it in the cafe there, and then went looking for a present for my brother which I never found. So I finally got home at 9:30 - exhausted, without exercising, and minus a birthday present for my brother.
It's 10 now, and I still have to pack and get my house ready. I'm leaving straight from school tomorrow to head down to Charleston to celebrate my brother and sister's birthdays. Who knows what I'll do about a present for my brother....maybe it will come to me in a dream.....
I don't handle failure well, which means at this moment I'm ready to quit this whole stupid pre-op routine. Maybe the whole thing. And just stay fat forever. It gives me an excuse for being miserable, right? And for being single - what if I was thin and no one wanted to marry me? Then all I would have to blame would be that I was an obnoxious, no fun person.
I'm going to just go to bed - I'll pack in the morning. Night.
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