Going to Jesus with all of my mess!

I went to a women's seminar at my church this morning. It was great, about how God talks to us and we talk to him. Something that one of the speakers said reminded me of something that I've been hearing a lot lately - like in Steve's sermon series on Lazarus and other places I think. I don't know if people really are talking about it a lot or if I'm just hearing it b/c it's something God knows I need to work on. Anyway.

Over and over in the Bible we see people coming to Jesus - actually physically talking to him, face-to-face which we don't get to do yet - in their brokenness and failures. They don't get themselves together and then go to him. They go to him and accuse him (Martha - "If you had been here, he wouldn't have died"), doubt him (the disciples saying they won't be able to feed the 5,000), in ambivalence ("Where else do we have to go?") and in pride ("Which one of us is your favorite?"). Obviously, I'm not pulling out the real references here. I probably could, but it would take me a long time - I'm not that good at my theology :) There are many more examples, and Jesus always responds to them in kindness and love, not harshly.

This is something I seriously need to work on. I tend to think, "No, I can't talk to God about this sin in my life. It's too bad." or "I've done this too many times. I can't ask God to forgive me again. I'm too embarassed." Um, hello Sarah? He knows anyway. Our speaker today talked about going to him even to say "I don't feel like talking to you today. I'm tired of you and angry at you." There is real power in saying things out loud. In talking to God and not just to ourselves. She talked about the difference between a monologue in our head - which gets us nowhere - and an actual dialogue with God. She suggested actually praying out loud to keep from slipping into that monologue.

One of the things I loved about both of the speakers today was how consistently they wove Scripture throughout their talks, as well as quotes from other theologians. They were very, very knowledgeable and great speakers. One of the quotes that spoke to me the most was from a man named Francoise Fenelon (I hadn't heard of him either) and it was about how we should speak to God, honestly telling him everything that is in our heart. It's a long quote, so I won't post it all, but it ends like this:

"...tell him without hesitation everything that comes into your head, with the simplicity and familiarity of a little child sitting on its mother's knee."

What a great, great God we serve, who seeks us out to talk to us and listen to us. No matter how broken we are.