Wednesday, November 12, 2008

The image in my head

So this is how I motivate myself to keep going on this whole weight-loss thing: I imagine that there is a skinny girl inside me. I'm eating right to get her out. But I'm exercising so that when she gets out she's already fit and toned and ready to go. Every time I'm exercising and I'm exhausted I think "Come on, skinny girl. Get stronger now so you can bust out!" I know. Crazy talk.

Something else new and amazing today - I swear I find something exciting every day. I finally went swimming again. I ALWAYS swim over to the ladder to get out because I'm not strong enough to pull myself up out on the side. I've tried once or twice and it's embarrassing. I figured it was a combination of weak arms and a lot of weight to pull up. Well, today I decided to try it while no one was around. I like flew out of the pool! It wasn't even hard! Amazing.

One of my cousins posted her pictures from the reunion and I swear when I see myself I just look like a fat girl. Which makes me think - if I look so much better than I did before, but I still look like a fat girl......wow. Anyway, there's my Debby-Downer moment of the night.

I have got to go get some things done so I can go to SLEEP! This is the latest I've been up all week. Somehow I just have such a hard time pulling myself away from the computer...

Oh, one more thing. We have a new kid coming to school tomorrow who was at our school last year but left. This is the buzz all around school (if you've never experienced a teacher gossip mill, you've missed out on one of the great wonders of the world) b/c apparently it's a really difficult child. So one of my fifth grade STUDENTS is telling me today that he's coming back and she shakes her head, pats my arm, and says "Good luck with that."

2 comments:

Mary said...

i've been through this.... i still look at pictures of myself and think "is that me?" because i'm "normal" sized now but still feel like the "fat" girl a lot. the psychology of losing weight is fascinating, HOWEVER you have to be in it for yourself. do not compare and despair....do not hold yourself to anyone else's standards....standards you've more than likely assumed exist but don't.

anyway, hold your chin high and keep up the good work! you are doing great sarah and I think your determination is wonderful....about as wonderful as your ability to get out of the pool without using the ladder=)

Anonymous said...

Not crazy at all! It was a great way to put it. :)

CONGRATS on the swim accomplishment. Too cool.

What a smart little girl. I too with you luck with that. LOL.