Did you hear that?

So I was sitting at my computer, playing on the internet (which I spend waaaay too much time doing, by the way), and I suddenly hear this loud, mechanical childrens-type song. You know, like the kind of thing that plays on baby toys when you press a button? Now, I know many babies but none live in my house so I didn't think I had any of those toys here. It was little bit freaky. I'm like searching my house and looking out the window trying to find where these noises are coming from and can't find anything. Finally, I see it. A real, live, ice cream truck going through my parking lot! I didn't realize that they still had those things. I felt like I lived in the 50s ;) I'm not saying I went out and bought any ice cream...nor did I see anyone else buy any. Which reminded me of one of my favorite stories. One of my friends was so emotional when she was pregnant that when the ice cream truck drove by her house and no one wanted ice cream, she started crying for the poor ice cream truck driver who wasn't going to be able to support her family. Poor thing, she's had the baby so I hope those hormones have receded a bit!

I did something very brave today - well, brave for me anyway. I went out to lunch with the Young Adults Sunday School class from my church. I've attended the class several times and spoken to some very nice people. At least once before, I've even driven to the place they were meeting for lunch and considered going in. But today, after sitting in the parking lot thinking about going in and watching for others to come for a good 20 minutes (while, I admit it, pretending to talk on my phone so it would look like I had a reason for sitting there. I was actually talking to God asking for courage to do this so I guess, technically, I didn't need the phone. Still.) I had a good time. There were maybe 10-15 people there and I enjoyed talking to them. I'm going to keep trying :)

I have found, both in Charlottesville and in Richmond, that it's harder - for me anyway - to make Christian friends than it is to make non-Christian friends. It's a big mystery to me. It may just be proximity, and that I don't put enough effort into making Christian friends. For instance, in Charlottesville most of my friends were people that I worked with and others I met through them. Here in Richmond, I have four great friends (two couples) that I knew before I moved here. Still it's important to me to try and make new friends. I'm making some through my WLS journey - mainly through the OH Va board. Church is such an important place to me, though, that I would really like to become closer to people there as well. I tend to use my weight as an excuse, and think that people don't want to get to know me because I'm fat. Whether that's true or all in my head, I don't know. Probably a little of both.

Ok, want me to be really, brutally honest here? I want and need a good-sized circle of friends. But what I really and truly want is a husband. And, for that, I feel like I need to look in the church. It's so important to me to find a Christian husband. Confession time. One of my biggest weaknesses is seeing church as a place to look for a man rather than a place to worship God. I will literally sit in church, look around, and pick out guys that I think I could marry. This is CRAZY. INSANE. I don't know them. At all. Not even their names. And I KNOW it's crazy. But I still do it. So every week in church I struggle to keep my focus on God and worshiping him. Because wanting a Godly husband is not a bad thing. But it's not why I go to church. So there you go. One of my biggest secrets, out there in the virtual world. I will keep praying about it and God will give me the strength to put him first above all other things, even finding a husband and having kids. I know he will. But on his timetable, which is not mine.

Want to know another deep, dark, dirty secret about me? I don't particularly enjoy canasta.